I’ve seen and heard a lot of questions like this:
- I never have anything to say. How can I stop being so boring?
- What are some interesting things to talk about?
- Why is life so boring?
- How can I become a more interesting person?
- How do I make life interesting after college?
- How do I make friends after college?
- Can I become more interesting or is it just something people are born with?
- How can I learn to be fun and outgoing?
If you relate to these questions – you are in luck. In this article I’m going to cover how to live an interesting life. If you follow through on this guide you will become more interesting and confident. I know because these exact methods worked for me.
Everyone is different, but one thing we have in common is that the majority of us are boring. The bulk of women’s lives revolve around watching Netflix, boxed wine, shopping sprees, and late afternoon naps. Most men have no vision beyond vidyagames, sports, smoking dank, and chasing tail. We spend our time pursuing mindless entertainment and pleasure, but in the end we find our lives devoid of meaning.
These activities provide fleeting happiness, but in terms of building your character and personality they are god-awful. Without real life experience, it is common to express yourself through pop-culture and be defined by the media you consume. You lack identity.
Every day, I see threads on Reddit and Quora, from people wondering how they can become a more interesting person and make conversation. There’s an endless amount of information on social tactics, pickup guides, and building confidence. All these skills are useless if deep inside, you have nothing to share.
What Makes Someone Interesting?
It has been said that if you are bored, your’e boring. If you want to have interesting things to talk about, make your life more exciting, be more fun and likeable – you must be interesting. To be interesting to others – you must first become more interesting to your self.
If you want to become a more interesting person you have to develop your character. Your hobbies, interests, and experiences make up the foundation of who you are. Yes, you get judged on how you look at first, but after that initial round – you are judged on what you do. What do you do? What’s fun in your life? What have you already accomplished? What are you plans? People will ask you these questions and you must have worthwhile answers. If the answer to all these questions is PS4 or Netflix, you are doing it wrong.
These are things you do consistently with real-world results. “Playing vidyagames” is not a hobby. Neither is watching football, drinking, or hanging with your friends. There is nothing wrong with these activities, but at the end of the day you didn’t achieve anything real. Hobbies are similar to skills, rooted in the real-world with direct benefits to your life.
It is of the utmost importance that you cultivate a couple hobbies and work on them with consistency. At least once a week. More often is better. How many people “play an instrument“, but haven’t picked one up in months, or years? Assuming, they still own one…
To have a well-rounded character, pursue at least one hobby from each of the three major areas: Body, Art, and Mind.
These are hobbies that build your body and increase your stamina. A minimum of three days a week, take part in an activity where you actively use your body. This isn’t just exercise. Exercise is a bare minimum for health. But that’s not enough to become interesting. Physical hobbies go beyond maintenance. Think hiking, snowboarding, bouldering, kick-boxing, and bicycling. Traditional sports like basketball work, if you take it seriously. Push your body to the limit, develop your agility, strength, and grace.
If is your only exercise then three times a week is required. If it supplements other exercise, once every week is okay. It’s not just about improving your physique, but adding a whole extra layer to your personality. This adds an edge and attractiveness to you that the majority of people lack.
These are hobbies that result in tangible items of work. Drawing, painting, musical instruments, poetry, singing, etc. Most people believe that being an artist is an ability you are born with, in reality it’s all about practice and discipline. The good news is that in the internet age, there are thousands of free resources available for you to improve in your chosen field. As with the body area, art activities should be practiced at least three times a week.
That doesn’t mean that three times a week you need to sculpt Roman gods from a block of marble. Just like light and heavy exercise, there are small and large art sessions. For example, I’m into rap and poetry. Once or twice a week, when I have quiet time, I practice my flow out loud for a few hours. The rest of the week I just work in my notebook: creating verses and brainstorming. You might go to a voice coach once every week, but the rest of the week you practice your singing at home.
Not every session is huge, but if you do it consistently, you will make progress. If you can commit to three time a week, you will surprise yourself and others with how rapidly you grow and how skilled you become.
You don’t need to be DaVinci to satisfy this hobby. Anything that builds your creative spirit works. Creative writing, or blogging (if you put in real effort!) are excellent. Carpentry is a classic. Photography or graphic design are legitimate options, although major effort is required to improve yourself above the hordes of rookies.
These are technical and intellectual skills. Body will strengthen your physique, art will deepen your creativity, but you must also challenge your mind, to complete the trifecta. Careful here, the primary aspect of a hobby is that it provides real-world benefits. Reading ancient history and playing chess might expand your mind, but in the end you don’t accomplish much besides acquiring information about history and being better at chess.
Hobbies of the mind include coding, fixing cars, or learning a new language. They can be monetary in nature, such as investing or managing a business. It can even include human psychology or communication skills. These activities mandate using your intelligence, studying, and practice, but have real-world application. You can build a website or design a new app. Save money fixing your own vehicle. Travelling is also good. Think about how much more independent you will become and the wealth of your experience when you have multiple means of communication at your disposal. Mind hobbies most are the most likely to have daily use, or result in real profit.
You will find overlap between these areas. Dancing mixes body and art. Being a chef blends art and mind. Taekwondo is a combination of mind and body. Even something as mundane as growing herbs blends elements from all three areas. The takeaway is to create a well-rounded character who has a lot to share with others.
It’s easy to confuse interest and hobbies. They are similar, the real difference is that you pursue an interest on its own merit. You choose them solely because they feel right to you. Hobbies must have a pragmatic application, interests are more open.
While most interests have zero application; you need to think differently when you build interests versus hobbies.
The reason for having many interests is to allow you to share more in conversation. Yes, you can try to do the sitcom gag, memorizing facts on a subject so you can pretend to be an expert, but you will be far more natural, organic, and fulfilling in conversation if you have actual knowledge of the topics you discuss. To become an interesting person you need to talk about interesting things; to discuss interesting things you need to actually know interesting things. Shocker, right!?
What do you do for fun? What makes your life exciting? Knowing the answer to these questions is key to choosing what you want to learn. Rock and Roll. Anthropology. Palm reading. Classical Music. Horror Films. Ancient History. Electronica. Board Games. Philosophy. Magic. Your options are endless. This is such a simple and basic idea but few people truly desire to broaden their horizons.
Actively pursue your interests. Just like anything else, read, learn, and spend time in pursuit of them. If you don’t know where to start, remember that any of the hobbies in the above section are by their nature, also interests. They tend to lend to other areas of knowledge. It’s easy to expand your hobbies into outlying interests one step at a time.
The idea here isn’t to separate hobbies and interests, but to pursue them in combination. For example, if your body hobby is bouldering and an interests you have is nature, then once a month you could go camping with your gear. Spend the day climbing then sleep under the stars. Doing that is more appealing than just going to a gym and walking through the woods. These combinations become the third major aspect of character.
It’s very easy to fall into a routine of work, sleep, eat, repeat. You maintain yourself – but are you truly living? Even if you actively engage in the hobbies and interests mentioned earlier, you might spend your whole life in a bubble. To become less boring, you must go out and experience the world!
90% of the time, if someone isn’t making any progress it’s because they are spending too much time learning from second-hand sources such as books, or videos, and not enough time experiencing.
Go to a frat party. Get lost in the woods. Attend a concert or event you’ve always wanted to see. Get in a fight. Try skydiving. Volunteer. Explore a new country or city. Spend a night homeless. White-water rafting. Shoot a gun. Live off the land.
Note that some of these activities are very dumb. That’s okay! Experiences, even stupid ones, add to your character, personality, and stories. The worst experiences make you a tougher, more dynamic, and more interesting person. Praise the good. Learn lessons from the crap. Its exciting. It can be dangerous. But, each experience adds a layer to who you are.
This is all obvious if you think about it. But if you never get outside of your comfort zone, you cannot grow and develop as a person. However, it’s not about trying to do as much crazy things as possible. Yes, you could travel to all the countries getting notches on your belt, but in the regular, daily aspect you also need to have a social network. The most common question I see is how to meet people once you graduate college. These people have trouble because they’ve been spoon-fed their social life. You gotta put in effort. Even The Most Interesting Man in the World has to put himself out there.
If you want friends, connections, and romance you going to have to put in the work for it.
This article borrows HEAVILY from a popular post on the subreddit ‘The Red Pill’. Many people take offense to TRP, so I have edited and presented this post to fit a wider audience, since the information is so useful.